Thursday, March 19, 2009

Your good opinion not required.

Last night a guy came to our door collecting for Cancer research. He asked for a donation, I gave him the petty cash we had in our change bowl by the door. He looked at the money and he looked at me and said, "oh well, if that's all you think you can afford.." and his voiced trailed off into silence.

I remembered that in ancient Greek there is a single verb which means, "I have lost face in front of my community and now they think worse of me." It's amazing to think there is a language that can put that all into one word.

But I didn't lose face, because his opinion of me is unimportant to me. The single best thing about entering middle age is that although it's nice to have other people's good opinions, it's no longer required.

There's so much going on in my life at the moment that I have no energy to sew. Here are my trousers, mid seam. They have been sitting like that, in exactly that position, for the last couple of days.

I suspect they will sit like that for some time more.


  1. WHOA! I admire you for dealing with this chump's dodgy remark with such equanimity- you're a better woman than I! I wouldn't have SAID anything, either, but I would have had to stop myself from raising my middle finger! I applaud this man for collecting for charity, but he seems not to be sensitive to the fact that available disposable income is shrinking for everyone right now. Many more people are RELYING on charities and increasingly fewer are in a position to contribute to them.

  2. He came to our door, too. I'm not entirely sure they're an official registered charity, TBH...anyway, good on you. He gave me a grouchy look when I told him we already donated to the Cancer Society.

    Hope all is well Over The Road.

    Not much sewing happening here, either, unfortunately.


  3. Well, he tried to come to my door, then realized I lived across the ocean. Whew! Its a good thing, because I don't handle guilt trips very well.

    Just take care of yourself and what life brings right now. Sewing can wait patiently and will be there for you when you have the energy.

  4. With a comment like that, I very much doubt he was legit.

    I'm glad that that was all that happened and that you and Benjy are safe.

  5. Yes, Mary Anna I agree with Geeksewing. A year or two ago a guy came "collecting" at our door, also for the cancer society. I gave him the cash in my purse, which was $2. He said "is that all?!" and I said "I'm sorry, it's all I have at home". My neighbour had a similar experience, and called the police. The cancer society were not collecting. A real collector would pass no judgement on the donations received. Next time you see him ask for your money back!

  6. I was accosted by a Save The Children collector at the mall and she tried to guilt me too. "$25 a month isn't very much..." And I was really proud of myself for saying "Well actually, I have 5 kids at home and it IS a lot of money for us". She had no answer for that one.

  7. Dear MAryanna - well I just love the sentiment that it is your good opinion of you that counts.ANd that's enough. Last night our salsa dance teacher was trying to convey that message to us uncoordinated, not very glamorous, all a bit old and bulgy people. by the ned of the session we all shimmied out the door in fine style. I am very sorry you have no energy to sew. Especailly as it is something you love to so so much. Hope you are all well.

  8. What a great photo! Sewing energy will return when it will. Hope you are getting lots of rest and taking care of yourself otherwise.

  9. I've reached that 'middle age' mark where what others think doesn't bother me. He's lucky that you're so polite. Love your photo. It tells me that when things settle down you'll be back at the machine picking up from where you left off.

  10. Thank you for your humor, lovely posting and sewing process...and all of the inspiration you give me!

    I have nominated you for the Lemonade Award:


  11. You are a bigger person than I; I donate generously and through official, reciept-bearing causes, so when I give a little 'extra on the side' from whatever change is lying around I like to feel good about it, not guilty - if I were to encounter the same fellow I would probably say, "You know what, now that I think about it, I really can't. May I have it back please?"